The Thousand Euro Pond Deal That Sunk For 58 Cent!

When my daughter Helen decided that she would like to have a fish pond in her back garden and that I should design it for her; it brought me back to a time a good number of years ago now when I had a great interest in such matters.

Before computers became personal I was buying up weekly and monthly fish keeping magazines, mainly concerned with pond fish as in koi, goldfish, orfe, etc., and having built a few ponds at the time I felt I had acquired a good knowledge of all that was necessary for keeping coldwater fish in a pond?

The pond was to be constructed just over two meters out from the ‘floor to ceiling’ viewing window in her dining come kitchen area. In the design I decided that the pond should have a relationship to the size of the window and consequently the pond was to be constructed; 10ft. x, 5ft.x, 2ft. deep. This would have a volume capacity of just short of three thousand litres and would be adequate for housing a reasonable number of goldfish and possibly with care (good filtration etc,) a special koi at least for a time.

The pond would have three return water spouts, the whole having a surround wall of stone and would be suitably lit to make it what I believe will be a very nice feature day or night.

The contractor for the works was engaged to include with the pond a new patio, pathways, retaining walls etc, the contractor is a person that is known to us and a very competent operator in all aspects of his work. He advised Helen that he would purchase the furnishing for the pond, that is pump, filter, etc on her behalf should she so wish; this was outside the contract as I had advised earlier. I was very confident that not only would we get the right equipment to have the pond function in top condition for the future but I knew and had done business with a supplier in Ireland of the very best in water gardening; consequently, the contractor’s offer was declined.

Having fallen out of touch with what might be the best in “modern” pond equipment I decided to refresh my knowledge by going on line. When all was said and done I came down on the side of OASE Filtoclear Pressure Filter Kit as the way to go. I concluded that the Filtoclear 6000 Kit; that is the 6000 filter combined with the 6000lt. an hour eco pump and a 11 watt UV bulb would be adequate to meet our needs with a reasonable number of fish. With the liner, hose, and clips, I had figured from our proposed sales people website it would come to just over €800. Should we get a reduction of €20 - €30 on this, I felt I could include an aeration system that would fit to Helen’s €1000 budget for this aspect of the job.

Very early on a dark November morning, Helen, her mother, her daughter and myself set out for Dublin by car, there was to be a shopping spree before going on to the pond equipment dealer in another part of the country, but first we had to visit Barack’s for breakfast.

I had communicated with the company by email earlier in the week stating my previous satisfactory experience both in advice and purchase and expressed the hope that the same would apply on this occasion. The prompt reply stated that they were looking forward to meeting and to give them a ring in advance with the time and day to enable them to have a ‘proper’ agent to satisfy our needs. I consulted with my travelling companions on the day prior to the trip as to the time we could convey to the company as time of arrival and the time of 1.30pm was passed on by phone.

It was 12.30pm when we left Dublin to arrive at the nearest large town to our destination where lunch was on the menu and after a leisurely lunch there was some more browsing in the shops. When we eventually set out in earnest to reach our dealer we found ourselves on a narrow rural road with a tractor and trailer travelling at less than twenty kilometres an hour spraying water and mud on to our windshield – what a miserable afternoon it was, but it was to get worse! It was 3.05pm when we arrived at our destination, Helen, her mother and I dashed across a concrete yard to a large shed. (The daughter stayed in the car with her IPhone) Inside the shed there was all manner of items and features connected with water gardening. The person in charge approached us from the far corner of the shed and asked: “Are ye the one thirty people?” “I’m with a customer at the moment.” Not too happy we thought.

After the customer was served he did give us his attention and I explained the purpose of our visit and would appreciate any advice he might offer us. The first question was; what are the proportions of the pond, I stated they were: 10`x 5`x 2` he calculated this to be a volume of 4000 litres. I corrected this to be less than 3000 litres. Not critical he said, can we say 4000, to which I agreed. Having gone in to the pond aspects as in orientation, the fish stocking etc.. he concluded that Helen would require a Filtoclear Set of 12000. I (mistakenly as it turned out) took this to mean a filter capacity of 12000 and a pump capacity of 12000. This to my thinking at the time had the capacity to turn over the volume of the pond every fifteen minutes, less some other small calculation. When I studied ponds in the past every two hours was recommended. I felt confident that my view was correct, our adviser agreed with me although with some reservations.

The price quoted OASE Filtoclear 6000 Kit was €572.00. We will be paying in cash, what can you give it to us for, we will be purchasing other items also, I informed him? This is where I had hoped to make the largest reduction on the price quoted on the net. That’s it, he declared. I went on to say that I had purchased some items previously and had got a reduction. You were lucky on that occasion, he told me. He did show some unease in his demeanour at the very suggestion. It was at this point the realisation that my ambitions for an aeration system were fading fast. Helen and I exchanged glances; there was no need to verbalise. We will require a liner also I informed him. We have a premium rubber liner here in the yard; will you have a look at it? And yes, the liner did look the business. What measurement do you require, he asked? In old measure it is 16ft.x11ft. Can you convert? After a couple of moments he announced “that will be €230.58” You are not leaving the 58c there are you, I asked? To which there was no reply. For the first time Helen did ask me if we should continue. Give me the total bill for what we have discussed already, I asked. With pencil and paper the tot came to €802.58 I was getting annoyed with the fifty eight cent, after all I was feeling confident setting out that I could get €20 - €30 of the total. Will you tell me, what is it with the fifty eight cent that it remains attached I asked? “Are you being rude or are you making a joke?” was his reply. It was at this point that Helen decided to intervene.

 “I have been dealing with sales people for very many years but you must be the worst mannered I have ever come across. Your attitude from when first we arrived and particularly to my eighty year old father was rude and condescending. Should this transaction cost twice the money elsewhere it is preferable to doing business with you. Good afternoon sir!” And so ended a day of great expectation, was it arriving late? Was it the pond volume correction? Was it not taking the advice on the kit? We will never know now, but this was a thousand euro deal that sunk for fifty eight cent. As we got back to the car and out of the rain and cloud filled darkening sky, the daughter, with her head and two thumbs on the IPhone inquired: Where is our stuff that we have come all this way for?

As we set out for the long journey home and in silence I might add; a thought came to mind and I don’t know why, and it was of a film of the 1950s starring Spencer Tracy, called,         Bad Day at Black Rock.